Post Breakup Adult Fun, I am back!

September 2024 By Oliver, esmale.

Our friends at online store esmale explore how to regain confidence in your love life and what can help on the way.

It took a while, but I am back and loving life and sex again. The nights that I was alone at home with a bottle of poppers and porn are over. Well, they will never be over, but you know what I mean. I broke up with my fella a few months ago and that kind of broke me. It was unexpected, shattered my confidence and I ended up a bit of a loner, ignoring my friends and family. The only thing I did was work, go home, watch telly and indulge in my fabulous collection of sex toys. I work for esmale, a gay sex shop so had access to many pleasure tools that got me through many a night feeling sad and sorry for myself. Well, no more!

So, what happened?

Well, I had a good talking to myself and dragged myself out to meet friends. Turns out that even my best friend was getting sick of me and my self-pity, I can be a bit moaner. So, it was decided that the best way over was to get under another guy. It took a while to get my confidence and say goodbye to my much-loved collection of gay sex toys but it had to be done. Now the question was how to get back on the horse. Dating app, sauna or trying to pull someone in a bar or club? The sauna and “real-life” option felt way too overwhelming so dating apps here I come. Well, this turned out to be equally overwhelming. Having been in a closed-off relationship for 10 years I realised how quickly things have moved. From instant dick pics to only wanting to meet up if this and that would happen, it all felt a bit aggressive. I was fearful it would never happen and that watching porn with a bottle of Pentyl poppers would be my future forever.

Old school won the day!

Immersed in self-pity I was sitting in a bar nursing a glass of red when I saw this guy staring at me. I did not pay any attention to it at first till I noticed he was rather dishy! Not only was he that he seemed to also have some confidence because he came up to me as soon as he realised I looked back. Considering this was not a gay bar I found this rather brave but maybe this is just how things are. Don't forget I have been out of rotation for a decade. Anyway, his name was Alistair, he was 37, cute and was looking for some fun. His directness really shut me down and I was barely saying a thing. After a while, we agreed to go to my place and that is where the lovely Alistair took his time, was super kind and took my breath away with his bedroom skills. We even got to use some of my toys, luckily, I had plenty of anal lube left. Even the pillow talk afterwards was great and we still hook up occasionally.

Five months later

After Alistair had cleared the cobwebs away and how he did this partly restored my confidence. At least enough for me to try dating and I even had a visit to a sauna for some anonymous sex. I must say that, in my experience, getting laid is now so much easier than 10 years ago. I am still not used to all the pre-demands that are often being made. Like, you have to do this or be that otherwise they won't meet up. Personally, I do not subscribe to that. I like to leave something to the imagination and give room to the element of surprise. I mean, I had no idea what Alistair liked, and it worked out great. I think if you really fancy each other, you will find plenty of stuff to do that will get you off.

Lesson learned

Getting over someone is hard. It felt undeserved and I felt life would never be the same. Part of this is true, life will not be the same. It will be different but who is to say it won't be better? Mine is. It can take a lot to get out there again but just take baby steps and you will get there. The main thing is that you do take those steps and slowly you will be back to your true self and rocking it.

Help is at hand

I know not everybody works for an adult store like I do but having tools available to meet the needs of my body when I was not ready to meet the real world was great. I can highly recommend it; it is a stress reliever and just feels great. If you are curious as to what is on offer have a look at these two stores.

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With Love,
Oliver from esmale