Pins and needles

My journey out of depression and darkness on the London gay scene, and how I did it

May 2025 By Sheridan, Five Element acupuncturist.

PinkUk is delighted to feature Sheridan's Maguire's story of how he found a way out of depression, anxiety and sleeping problems through acupuncture, training as a therapist to help other people overcome similar challenges.

My name's Sheridan, I'm a musician and I provide acupuncture therapy to people who find the therapy helps them beat long term health problems such as insomnia, anxiety and depression. Over the years I've worked in various jobs including as a music teacher and in retail but about five years ago I decided I needed a real change and I trained to be a Chinese-oriented Five Element acupuncturist. This is my story on why I did it and what it means.

A shy boy in childhood and isolation

I had for a long time suffered from sleeping problems and other related issues. It was in this dark time that an incredible journey of healing and self-discovery started.

I'm now in my early forties and it is interesting to look back at my childhood. I was always a shy child. I grew up in a large family and as the youngest of five, I could often take the back seat whilst my elders talked. When I was moved from school to school, I often had to play catch up making new friends. I spent a couple of years in a private music school where I was bullied and I think the depression and isolation from that time didn't leave me and hindered my adolescent years. During my late adolescence and turn to adulthood, I was quite repressed about my sexuality, like many people are. I was in denial. As many people can probably share, this really jarred my life experiences.

So with all this in the mix when I look back at my younger years, I see quite a sad, shy young person who didn't really know how to communicate with the world properly and didn't really empathise or feel the world fully. I remember friends would look at sunsets and feel elated and I just wouldn't feel the same effect, wondering what was so exciting. Looking back now, knowing what I do about the changes in the human mind that I know now, there was a lack of something. Life just wasn't enough, there was always something missing from my routine whether work or socialising – there was always dissatisfaction.

"I had a roaring time whether out and about in clubs, house parties, Pride festivals or later on dating apps."

So I think this incentivised me to get more involved with social drug taking and partying on the gay scene. It was a way to make friends and to feel connected with the world and it was fun a lot of the time. I came out fully by the time I was at university which was very liberating. When I moved to London, the scene and living in the big city was a great opportunity for me to connect with other gay, bisexual and other fun and alternative people. I had a roaring time whether out and about in clubs, house parties, Pride festivals or, later on, dating apps.

The club scene in the noughties and teens in London and Brighton was still pumping out great tech and house tunes with loads of hot guys meeting on the scene before the dating apps changed things. It was super fun. I loved making loads of friends and as a musician the beats, the sounds and the vibe just hooked me.

However I began to realise this was all too good to be true. Fun and exhilarating it can be, the London gay scene can be deceptive and has its own perils. There was a lot of temptation and the scene can put you in touch with people who, although friendly and well-meaning, can encourage you to be more of a rebel and hedonistic. It became addictive, and not just the drugs. I had become psychologically dependent on an unsustainable lifestyle that encouraged you to spend money and make you feel depleted so you struggle to cope through the week.

"I had just turned 30 and had severe back pains, heavy tiredness, depression and anxiety."

You feel great at the weekends but during the week it's chaos. All you look forward to is the next weekend.

"My sleep was disturbed and every night I could only get four or so hours and I was highly fatigued throughout the day."

The mental and physical toll

Meanwhile my work, social life and mental and physical health all took turns for the worse. I realised that I needed a big change if I was to avoid a complete meltdown, although when I finally decided to put a stop to it I was already a bit of a mess. My sleep was disturbed and every night I could only get four or so hours and I was highly fatigued throughout the day. By then I had just turned 30 and had severe back pains, heavy tiredness, depression and anxiety. I saw the doctor who prescribed sleeping pills but these make you drowsy and they stopped working after a while.

I began to search for some other pursuits and ways out of my lifestyle. An advert caught my eye for a meditation retreat and I decided to try one out. The retreat was at the Marpa House Buddhist centre and the meditation itself helped calm my mind. It was here that I met someone who suggested Ayurvedic medicine which is an ancient alternative herbal medicine with its roots in India and Nepal.

So I found a good Ayurvedic practitioner and took the prescribed herbal supplements and went on a restrictive diet. I was actually amazed that after a few weeks things started to change and my sleep improved. The colour returned to my face and I felt ‘WOW' this is so amazing. I'm feeling alive again!

Unfortunately for me, the herbs stopped working after a while. I then moved onto traditional Chinese herbal supplements and also Traditional Chinese Medicine acupuncture, both of which seemed to have little effect on my sleeping pattern.

By then I'd spent about two years of feeling quite upset that I'd not been able to sleep properly. As time passed a resignation creeped in that maybe now that was it, life was just going to be like this from now on.

Then one day a friend suggested I try something called ‘Five Element Acupuncture' and recommended me to a gay therapist who practised it. I was a bit sceptical because I'd already tried acupuncture, but I called the guy up and he told me Five element acupuncture is “Different from other types and it gives you back energy like you haven't had since you were a teenager.”

I needed to try something new. I felt old beyond my years. Anything that could restore my youthful energy was a welcome proposition. The results were incredible. Within three treatment sessions involving acupuncture pins, he cleared something called a liver lung block which is an imbalance between the liver and lung meridian channels of energy. I remember going camping with my family, fearful I wouldn't sleep at all, but the opposite happened: I remember standing out in the rain feeling a deep sense of peace and inner joy. My family all wondered why I was so happy. That week I slept for eight hours a night without getting up – something unheard of in my recent past.

"Something deep and profound had shifted inside of me that was allowing me to sleep better and to feel better than I'd felt in years, possibly for much of my life."

Something had changed. Something deep and profound had shifted inside of me that was allowing me to sleep better and to feel better than I'd felt in years, possibly for much of my life. I feel that the boy who had been bullied at school so many years ago was being given something back - a reconnection with something that was enabling me to feel physically and mentally fully alive again.

This is how it feels to be me, the real me, and it's amazing! And not only did my sleep and anxiety get better, my also my depression, back pain and eczema all improved. I was mesmerised. Why was I so happy and content? How come putting a few pins into the skin can have such a profound effect on one's mental and physical health? How come this was not better known about?

It took me around two years to decide to train in Five Element acupuncture and I've become a fervent advocate. The training involved two years at a London college, where you learn all the acupuncture point locations, the theory and finally supervised practice with patients.

Five element acupuncture

Its roots date back thousands of years to ancient China where they perceived a network of energy channels that run through the body giving a kind of soul energy known as Chi to tissues and organs. So the theory goes when this energy becomes obstructed, the flow of energy becomes depleted and mental and physical symptoms start to arise.

I love my job now as every day is different, every patient is unique and I feel I help people at such a profound level. When I look back now on my life's journey, I view it through a lens of transformation. It started at school being bullied and then the drug addiction made things worse to the point where I was forced into making a change. The social drug use had become a trauma in how it affected my psychological and physical health.

We can pull ourselves out of darker times with the right support

It's often difficult to see this view point when you are in the trauma period of the cycle with no end in sight. Many people, I believe, get stuck in this trauma stage and don't find the solutions to the transformative part. But fortunately some do and then can make it through the dark times to find they become stronger and better people because of what has happened. For me it was Five Element acupuncture, but for others it can be other things be it counselling, Ayurveda, meditation, new friends, or just changing our life circumstances so we can pull ourselves out of the darker times in our lives and as a result become better and more resilient people.

My advice to anyone who is going through issues is to not try to go it alone. Occasionally we all need a lifeline or a companion to help us out of the dark corners we sometimes find ourselves in – I was lucky in that I had some wise and sensible close friends who supported me in my path. This was how I did it.

Sheridan is a qualified Five Element acupuncturist and holds a clinic in Islington in North London. You can learn more about his practice as an acupuncture therapist at 5 elements